Emotions and Sex

An emotional connection to someone is not the same as a sexual attraction.

Some people seem to always connect emotions and sex together and while I understand that for many sex is something people only do when committed I do not believe it always has to relate to our emotions. Just because you kiss or have sex or do anything in between with someone it does not necessarily mean that you have feelings for them. Yes, there must be some sexual or physical attraction for you to even want to be intimate with each other in the first place but that does not mean you are attracted to their personality.

I believe that sex is one of the best ways to escape. Some people use drugs, some drink their sorrows away, some do intense sports and some have sex. Obviously sex can be dangerous for health reasons, especially for a woman. There are diseases and unwanted pregnancies, there are people who can be aggressive in bed. But, it isn’t too difficult to avoid these what with contraception and knowing at least some background to the person you are sleeping with. When I am having sex with someone, all of the drama and the pressure and any feelings I have for other people fade away and I am there in the moment just me and the guy. However, afterwards I feel alone and I find myself wanting more occasionally but often not with the person I have just hooked up with. This is where my problem lies.

I disagree with the idea that promiscuity is negative. If one enjoys what they are doing and are not being emotionally destructive I believe it is just fun. As long as you are able to separate emotions and sex there is nothing wrong with sleeping with people. People will judge no matter what you do. If you sleep around you are a slut, if you flirt but don’t ever do anything you are a vlut (vrigin-slut), if you avoid the opposite or same sex in any sexual way whatsoever you are a prude so no matter what you do there will always be someone who judges you.

I believe that what is most important is being comfortable in whatever situation you are in. Do you believe you can have feelings for someone and sleep with someone else or would it be considered hypocritical as you are lying to yourself?